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10-31-2008, 03:33 AM
By chance i have been motivated. I can't name a specific reason but i think it may originate from these vary forums. In fact, i'm quite sure it does somehow...
I was going through my massive pile of aborted sketches as though they were layers of rock. Each time i buried my shovel i would unearth long forgotten memories bringing with them stinging reminders left to rot in the back of my head.
About 4 years ago i had stopped drawing, more specifically i was unable to draw any further. It wasn't a physical handicap, however, it was mental. A conflict of thoughts. But lets take a look back for the giggles.
I had grown up drawing any cartoons i would lay sight on. Fern gully, Disney, and of course the great animated batman of the early 90s. They were all reoccurring subjects to my 2 dimensional escape from school and what not. But there was another pass time, video games...mostly rpgs.
As i grew older both hobbies grew with me. I watched as cartridges buckled under the weight of compact disks and as pixels receded into the background to be replaced with low-poly renders. My love for animated cartoons inevitably lead me to Toonami, and my love for games lead me to games like final fantasy 7 and other awesome rpgs. When i first started toning in to Toonami i believe Sailormoon and Robotech were the main series, but soon followed by Dragon Ball Z.
My drawing followed my interests, i drew every inch of every page of the ff7 manual. Likewise, i would go to the local public computer lab and look up EPIC dragon ball z images to draw(of course i would look up ff7 ones as well(its such a sweet game(but im not a fan boy))).
Ah yes the internet, such a great source of information. All the knowledge in the world pooled in one giant organized tube. Oh yes, there's also an abundance of porn AND its readily available for anyone who can click a "yes, i'm over 18" button! As we all know, or at least i hope we do, there is a variety of 18+ material that is both cartoon and porn and it certainly didn't take long to find it while searching for "Tifa Lockheart images" on amazon.com(does that site still have search engine?-_-)!
At first i was like lolwut but then i was like, "i think i like this". Alas, another section had been stitched into my quilt. I grabbed some of daddies magazines and started thinking, "i could draw my own". Eagerly but with caution i would show friends my work. I would start of with smaller things, what i now know to be called ecchi, to gauge their reactions. If they were interested i would show them things a little more intents.
Occasionally, i would give them a picture i drew and to my amazement they didn't keep it to themselves. Oh no, i had fans. Sure it was only a few but they took a liking to my "art" and started commissioning me to do images for them! I had my own business, charging a dollar or two per image. =)
This continued for a while, i would use the computer lab to print reference pics(nothing bad mind you, there was a administrator always present) and also to play Runescape with mah buddies! After i enrolled in high school i decided i would pursue art. I signed up for beginning drawing and painting and sculpting/printing.
The first couple projects my teachers started to realize i was leaps and bounds ahead of most of the others. I rolled with it. They would point i would draw, pathetic really! Passed the class took intermediate. Passed that took advanced. Passed that and the teacher asks me if i want to be in advanced placement....advanced placement? What the hell is that?
Its called AP. Its a special course for people who excel at certain subjects, in my case drawing. In this class our goal is to prepare for college and ultimately our careers. We worked on our technique, we challenged ourselves. And during our senior year we were to complete our portfolios.
This is where trouble came. I stopped. Put the pencil down and stared at space. Nothing could make me draw, you see i had come to a rather bitter realization. I looked back on my beginning drawing pictures which were to be put in the portfolio to demonstrate progress. What did i see? Garbage. I had become so much better but i wasn't able too shake this thought. The thought that there wasn't any talent. It wasn't something i was born with. It was practice.
Practice.
Practice.
Practice.
I started thinking, knowing that anyone who put as much time into this as me would be where i was that day. What was the point? I gave up on it. 100% withdraw. No more sketch books, no more portfolio. I sat and stared, gnawing on my crutch as i waited for the class to end.
That wasn't all that happened, i stopped caring about a lot of things. Other classes were no exception. Eventually, i was called to the councilors office. I knew what he had to say, i wouldn't be graduating on time. But what do i put down on my requested classes for next year? Advanced Placement 2D.
I force myself to work as hard as i can slipping in and out of productivity, amassing piles of unfinished projects, entirely neglecting my sketch books. As i watched my class mates pass me by i would sit and question everything i do. I begin seeing every flaw, every seam in my work-always reminding me that i'm not gifted, i'm not talented. i'm just well trained.
Over and over my teacher tries to break through to me, only to be met with, "i don't know" again and again. She reached for me but i couldn't force myself to reach back, i just couldn't. So she did what she had to, she kicked me out of the class.
Havent really drawn since, about 3 to 4 years ago. I still carry it around. Relatives, friends, they will ask me to do something for them, paint a pattern, draw a portrait. I just shrug as i grind my teeth and shake my head 'no'.
But I've done lots of thinking. Lots. And I am talented. I am gifted, I just tricked myself into believing otherwise. No matter how hard some people try they will never be able to do what I've done, what came so easily to me. Sure I have to practice, sure I have to progress, but there is that foundation that is inherent. That coupled with the urge to create is my talent and I have decided to pick up the pieces. Right where I left off.
Also I took Advanced Speech, Economy, Shakespeare, Sociology, and Social Psychology.
Now onto the hentai!
Bare in mind that these are old and I feel that being several years out of practice that I could still draw better than this. These are ooooooooooooled
Holy sheet thats a wall. srry heres the TL;DR: I'm back I'll be drawing some goodies, expect weekly additions.
I was going through my massive pile of aborted sketches as though they were layers of rock. Each time i buried my shovel i would unearth long forgotten memories bringing with them stinging reminders left to rot in the back of my head.
About 4 years ago i had stopped drawing, more specifically i was unable to draw any further. It wasn't a physical handicap, however, it was mental. A conflict of thoughts. But lets take a look back for the giggles.
I had grown up drawing any cartoons i would lay sight on. Fern gully, Disney, and of course the great animated batman of the early 90s. They were all reoccurring subjects to my 2 dimensional escape from school and what not. But there was another pass time, video games...mostly rpgs.
As i grew older both hobbies grew with me. I watched as cartridges buckled under the weight of compact disks and as pixels receded into the background to be replaced with low-poly renders. My love for animated cartoons inevitably lead me to Toonami, and my love for games lead me to games like final fantasy 7 and other awesome rpgs. When i first started toning in to Toonami i believe Sailormoon and Robotech were the main series, but soon followed by Dragon Ball Z.
My drawing followed my interests, i drew every inch of every page of the ff7 manual. Likewise, i would go to the local public computer lab and look up EPIC dragon ball z images to draw(of course i would look up ff7 ones as well(its such a sweet game(but im not a fan boy))).
Ah yes the internet, such a great source of information. All the knowledge in the world pooled in one giant organized tube. Oh yes, there's also an abundance of porn AND its readily available for anyone who can click a "yes, i'm over 18" button! As we all know, or at least i hope we do, there is a variety of 18+ material that is both cartoon and porn and it certainly didn't take long to find it while searching for "Tifa Lockheart images" on amazon.com(does that site still have search engine?-_-)!
At first i was like lolwut but then i was like, "i think i like this". Alas, another section had been stitched into my quilt. I grabbed some of daddies magazines and started thinking, "i could draw my own". Eagerly but with caution i would show friends my work. I would start of with smaller things, what i now know to be called ecchi, to gauge their reactions. If they were interested i would show them things a little more intents.
Occasionally, i would give them a picture i drew and to my amazement they didn't keep it to themselves. Oh no, i had fans. Sure it was only a few but they took a liking to my "art" and started commissioning me to do images for them! I had my own business, charging a dollar or two per image. =)
This continued for a while, i would use the computer lab to print reference pics(nothing bad mind you, there was a administrator always present) and also to play Runescape with mah buddies! After i enrolled in high school i decided i would pursue art. I signed up for beginning drawing and painting and sculpting/printing.
The first couple projects my teachers started to realize i was leaps and bounds ahead of most of the others. I rolled with it. They would point i would draw, pathetic really! Passed the class took intermediate. Passed that took advanced. Passed that and the teacher asks me if i want to be in advanced placement....advanced placement? What the hell is that?
Its called AP. Its a special course for people who excel at certain subjects, in my case drawing. In this class our goal is to prepare for college and ultimately our careers. We worked on our technique, we challenged ourselves. And during our senior year we were to complete our portfolios.
This is where trouble came. I stopped. Put the pencil down and stared at space. Nothing could make me draw, you see i had come to a rather bitter realization. I looked back on my beginning drawing pictures which were to be put in the portfolio to demonstrate progress. What did i see? Garbage. I had become so much better but i wasn't able too shake this thought. The thought that there wasn't any talent. It wasn't something i was born with. It was practice.
Practice.
Practice.
Practice.
I started thinking, knowing that anyone who put as much time into this as me would be where i was that day. What was the point? I gave up on it. 100% withdraw. No more sketch books, no more portfolio. I sat and stared, gnawing on my crutch as i waited for the class to end.
That wasn't all that happened, i stopped caring about a lot of things. Other classes were no exception. Eventually, i was called to the councilors office. I knew what he had to say, i wouldn't be graduating on time. But what do i put down on my requested classes for next year? Advanced Placement 2D.
I force myself to work as hard as i can slipping in and out of productivity, amassing piles of unfinished projects, entirely neglecting my sketch books. As i watched my class mates pass me by i would sit and question everything i do. I begin seeing every flaw, every seam in my work-always reminding me that i'm not gifted, i'm not talented. i'm just well trained.
Over and over my teacher tries to break through to me, only to be met with, "i don't know" again and again. She reached for me but i couldn't force myself to reach back, i just couldn't. So she did what she had to, she kicked me out of the class.
Havent really drawn since, about 3 to 4 years ago. I still carry it around. Relatives, friends, they will ask me to do something for them, paint a pattern, draw a portrait. I just shrug as i grind my teeth and shake my head 'no'.
But I've done lots of thinking. Lots. And I am talented. I am gifted, I just tricked myself into believing otherwise. No matter how hard some people try they will never be able to do what I've done, what came so easily to me. Sure I have to practice, sure I have to progress, but there is that foundation that is inherent. That coupled with the urge to create is my talent and I have decided to pick up the pieces. Right where I left off.
Also I took Advanced Speech, Economy, Shakespeare, Sociology, and Social Psychology.
Now onto the hentai!
Bare in mind that these are old and I feel that being several years out of practice that I could still draw better than this. These are ooooooooooooled
Holy sheet thats a wall. srry heres the TL;DR: I'm back I'll be drawing some goodies, expect weekly additions.